You are in charge of your own experience

Most of us love events, meetups. parties, etc.when we enjoy them.

But, what about when things don’t go like you expected?

I just wanted to take a short minute to share my experience and opinion on something that was recently brought to my attention.

We had a couple drive in from a long distance to a public event. It was a rather medium sized event with about 50 people present.

Most of the people were new (meaning their first visit or first time coming to a Poly meetup with the people who were present) with a maybe about 30% being people that are close friends or family (in the Poly sense of family). The other 70% consisted of people who had never met the other people at the event or who had only had exposure to the others at previous events (of which there have been about 4 or 5).

This couple felt like they were receiving “dirty looks” from a majority of the people present at this event. They commented that they did not feel comfortable and that it was “cliquish”. They had also mentioned ” I honestly was introverted tonight. Nervous and shy.” at the outset of the message they sent to me.

Now, I am not saying their experience was not true for them. I am not saying they did not experience this happening. But, I will say that we are in control of our own experience.

Nothing I can do, nothing anyone else can do, can make you react the way you choose to react. Any reaction is a choice (whether or not you realize it or even consciously choose it.). The way you “feel” is directly a result of what you allowed to happen in your mind. A lot of this comes from past experiences and conditioning and can feel like it is out of our control. But, it’s not.

Whenever you are attending any event, just remember. Everything you experience is being filtered through your perceptions. You may have underlying preconceived expectations and perceptions that cloud and/or create a convoluted experience for you. It will seem real to you. It will be real for you. But, you could have changed that reality ( I have personally experienced this myself on more than one occasion.).

I say this just to encourage you to try to leave any negative expectations, negative preconceived ideas, fears, hopes, negative past experiences behind at the door when you come to an event. It is important for you, if you want to have the best experience possible, to try, well… to have the best experience possible.

For the most part. People are not out to create an inhospitable experience for others at these public events. Even if they are, you can prevent that from happening by re-framing your experience to better suit what you want to experience.

Here is a short article I think could be beneficial in helping to explain what I am trying to say, a little more. We Are Responsible for Our Own Feelings

I am sad that this couple experienced this because I know there is nothing anyone could have done to make it any better for them. They were fighting their mind before they ever got to the meeting and everything was filtered through their preconceived expectations and perceptions which led to exactly what they were expecting.

There last sentence to me was “Maybe make sure in future people who have never been before feel welcomed.”. If you come to an event expecting to not be welcomed or expecting that others feel a certain way about you (never mind that probably not a single person there knew who they were. I certainly didn’t.), you will go way with that feeling and experience you were expecting.

So, please, try to come with an empty slate and an expectation of something good. 😀

With that attitude and expectation, hopefully you will get something good out of your experience.

Poly Dinner Hurst




You can RSVP here by getting a ticket.




Poly Dinner is a fun, monthly gathering (that we have been having for many years in Dallas. And now, Hurst.) for those who are already Polyamorous or just interested. Poly-friendly folks welcome! This is a family event and kids are welcome.



1) Reservations with the restaurant will be made around 2PM-4PM on the proceeding Thursday. If you aren’t able to confirm your schedule before then, just message the host and we’ll see if we can still find a spot for you.

2) Maybes will not be included in the final head-count. We’ll have a buffer but if you don’t let anyone know you’re coming for sure, there might not be a seat for you.

3) Please RSVP for your guests and kids. To do this, just comment on the wall of the event with a + and the number of people you’re bringing. (Include the symbol! It makes counting it all so much easier.) You can also request a high chair if you need one.


4)Just a few notes on RSVPs. This event gets posted in multiple places. You only need to be counted once so please only RSVP once in one place.


5) Important!! If you get a ticket from Eventbrite, it is private. No one but the host and you can see this info. Facebook has changed the way they do events and they are hosted on my personal (public) account so I can not guarantee that it is private/secret.


6)Please remember to tip the wait staff. They make less for a big group and they don’t get paid well to start with. It’s also hard to find venues that work for us and we want them to like that we choose them. Thank you! ❤


 They have good food and parking and the prices for their buffet are about average. I hope to see you there. 🙂



Poly Dinner Dallas

This is just a casual, monthly get-together. Family friendly.


Dallas Poly Dinner is a fun, monthly gathering for those who are already Polyamorous or interested. Poly-friendly folks welcome as well! This is a family event and kids are welcome.



1) Reservations with the restaurant will be made around 2PM-4PM on the proceeding Thursday. If you aren’t able to confirm your schedule before then, just message the host and we’ll see if we can still find a spot for you.

2) Maybes will not be included in the final head-count. We’ll have a buffer but if you don’t let anyone know you’re coming for sure, there might not be a seat for you.

3) Please RSVP for your guests and kids. To do this, just comment on the wall of the event with a + and the number of people you’re bringing. (Include the symbol! It makes counting it all so much easier.) You can also request a high chair if you need one.


4)Just a few notes on RSVPs. This event gets posted in multiple places. You only need to be counted once so please only RSVP once in one place.


5) Important!! If you get a ticket from Eventbrite, it is private. No one but the host and you can see this info. Facebook has changed the way they do events and they are hosted on my personal (public) account so I can not guarantee that it is private/secret.




6)Please remember to tip the wait staff. They make less for a big group and they don’t get paid well to start with. It’s also hard to find venues that work for us and we want them to like that we choose them. Thank you! ❤








IMPORTANT REMINDER/NOTICE:


DO NOT PARK AT RADIO SHACK!!!


There’s parking under the building but be careful if you are driving a car or vehicle that is low to the ground because you will drag when going in and when leaving.


There’s parking on Bowzer, the residential street behind the restaurant.
Oh yeah and Do not park in front of other businesses. ESPECIALLY Radio Shack. Unless you like giving money away to tow companies.




The Dallas Poly Dinner is the cornerstone of the poly community. For over a decade, this event has been sustained as a safe space to meet each other and be ourselves. 3rd Friday every month, time and location are usually the same.


Just a few notes on RSVPs. This event gets posted in multiple places. You only need to be counted once so please only RSVP once in one place.


Also, if you’re bringing someone who -can’t- RSVP (kids or someone who isn’t on any of the groups) then please do get them a ticket or comment about it. Put + and the number of people you’re bringing and it’ll be super easy for me to make an accurate count for the restaurant.