Most of us love events, meetups. parties, etc.when we enjoy them.
But, what about when things don’t go like you expected?
I just wanted to take a short minute to share my experience and opinion on something that was recently brought to my attention.
We had a couple drive in from a long distance to a public event. It was a rather medium sized event with about 50 people present.
Most of the people were new (meaning their first visit or first time coming to a Poly meetup with the people who were present) with a maybe about 30% being people that are close friends or family (in the Poly sense of family). The other 70% consisted of people who had never met the other people at the event or who had only had exposure to the others at previous events (of which there have been about 4 or 5).
This couple felt like they were receiving “dirty looks” from a majority of the people present at this event. They commented that they did not feel comfortable and that it was “cliquish”. They had also mentioned ” I honestly was introverted tonight. Nervous and shy.” at the outset of the message they sent to me.
Now, I am not saying their experience was not true for them. I am not saying they did not experience this happening. But, I will say that we are in control of our own experience.
Nothing I can do, nothing anyone else can do, can make you react the way you choose to react. Any reaction is a choice (whether or not you realize it or even consciously choose it.). The way you “feel” is directly a result of what you allowed to happen in your mind. A lot of this comes from past experiences and conditioning and can feel like it is out of our control. But, it’s not.
Whenever you are attending any event, just remember. Everything you experience is being filtered through your perceptions. You may have underlying preconceived expectations and perceptions that cloud and/or create a convoluted experience for you. It will seem real to you. It will be real for you. But, you could have changed that reality ( I have personally experienced this myself on more than one occasion.).
I say this just to encourage you to try to leave any negative expectations, negative preconceived ideas, fears, hopes, negative past experiences behind at the door when you come to an event. It is important for you, if you want to have the best experience possible, to try, well… to have the best experience possible.
For the most part. People are not out to create an inhospitable experience for others at these public events. Even if they are, you can prevent that from happening by re-framing your experience to better suit what you want to experience.
Here is a short article I think could be beneficial in helping to explain what I am trying to say, a little more. We Are Responsible for Our Own Feelings
I am sad that this couple experienced this because I know there is nothing anyone could have done to make it any better for them. They were fighting their mind before they ever got to the meeting and everything was filtered through their preconceived expectations and perceptions which led to exactly what they were expecting.
There last sentence to me was “Maybe make sure in future people who have never been before feel welcomed.”. If you come to an event expecting to not be welcomed or expecting that others feel a certain way about you (never mind that probably not a single person there knew who they were. I certainly didn’t.), you will go way with that feeling and experience you were expecting.
So, please, try to come with an empty slate and an expectation of something good. 😀
With that attitude and expectation, hopefully you will get something good out of your experience.